Unrelated Brothers
by Caboosetrain
Summary: Naruto and Konahamaru have shared a bond ever since the third Hokage introduced the two too each other. Its about time Naruto had some family. Konahamaru same age. This is a brotherly thing, so no romance. First chapt is a bit small. Just testing the waters with this fic.


Hey, caboosetrain here with a new fic. Don't have much to say really. It's a small first chapter, but I don't have much time and I really just wanted to write this before I forgot all the stuff I had planned out. This will feature Konhamaru being a few years older, so pretty much the same age as Naruto. Its Naruto and Konhamaru centric, but not in a romantic way or anything. More of a brotherly thing. I dislike yaoi. Greatly.

Dislcaimer- Don't own Naruto.

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" Alrighty then boss, i think we're done here"

Konahamaru closed the lid to the last container of many that had been tampered with and then placed it in the exact same spot it had been before.

His partner in crime, Naruto, placed a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from laughing.

" Geez, you think she'll notice to soon?"

Konahamru nodded his head.

"Oh yeah. That'll be the best part though. Come on, we got to hide somewhere. If my… 'calculations' are correct, Mrs. Shimo will be here any minute." The boy said with a chuckle.

The two wandered for a bit, laughing hysterically, until they came up to a closet with a perfect view of the chaos that would ensue. They opened the door, and it was thankfully a walk in closet, meaning there was plenty of room to relax and watch in peace. Expensive Clothes and shoes were thrown everywhere, making it so there were plenty of places to hide. The perfect camouflage if you will.

Voices could be now be heard from the bottom floor, so Naruto and Konhamaru threw themselves into the closet and closed the door, just enough for them to be hidden though. They would need to be seeing this.

A woman, no older than 18, walked into the bathroom and walked to the sink humming a toon to herself. The female picked up a container, opened it, and began to apply it to her face. For a second, it looked like she scrunged up her nose, but she finished up and put back the current container in use. Apparently the smell had not been great enough, because she moved onto the next container and began to apply it to her eyelids. And this is where we see results. The lady began to sniff the air and gradually placed the container back onto the countertop.

" *Sniff* Sniff*. What the hell is that smell?" the woman asked to nobody in particular. " It smells like something died in here."

The woman stood there for a moment, as if she was thinking of all the possibilities of what the smell could be, until she suddenly picked up the container she had just recently used and took a big whiff of it in.

" O-OH MY GOD. THAT SMELLS HORRIBLE" The girl shouted, dropping the container onto the ground.

She opened another container and took another big whiff, and similarly, she dropped that container to the ground as well.

It was too much.

Naruto blew up with uncontrollable laughter, which in turn let Konahamaru let out the laughter he had been holding in all this time. The closet door slammed open revealing a steaming Mistress of the house.

" WHAT DID YOU TWO LITTLE SHITS DO?"

Naruto stood up from where he had been sitting, clutching his gut still from laughing, and pointed a finger at the woman.

" This is pay back for your rudeness you hag! Did you enjoy our modification to your makeup? Smells a little fishy eh?"

A look of horror began to bloom on the victims face.

" Yeah that's right. We put poop in your makeup! It took a while of course. You know, to find a dog and everything."

The woman let out a shriek and began to cry, flushing makup and feces alike around her face.

" HISROSHI! GET IN HEEEEEERE!"

Not a moment passed before the buffest man Naruto had ever seen walked into the bathroom.

"…Holy shit" the blonde whispered, budging Konahamaru with his shoulder. " What the hell is _that?"_

The man looked at his girlfriend's tears stream down her face with confusion.

"What's wrong babe?" the man asked. He turned to the two boys standing across from his lover. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi-Hiroshi, they smeared DOG SHIT IN MY MAKEUP! GET THEM OUT OF HEEEEERE"

The man's face turned a bright crimson hue. With a clear show of strength, the man grabbed the scruff of the two boy's shirts and lifted them into the air in each hand.

"That's disgusting. Why the hell would you do such a thing?" the man asked with anger laced with his words.

Naruto, who was busy attempting to escape, let his longtime friend answer question.

"She's a hag, that's why! She's mean to Naruto. She wouldn't let him buy stuff from her shop. This is payback!"

The man's question was answered. The blonde was getting revenge then. But why had his girlfriend not served him? Any pay was the same as his mom used to say back in water country. The muscular man sighed.

"You're the hokage's grandkid right? Im taking you to the hokage tower. You can't just smear dog shit in people's things."

Konahamaru coughed as the grip around the collar of his shirt tightened, closing around his throat.

" WAIT WAIT. I didn't want it to come to this, but me and my friend have taken part in badass ninja espionage action. What we've found might make what we had done justified."

The man's girlfriend lunged for Konhamaru's mouth, but she was too slow.

"SHE'S GOT A SUGAR DADDY! SHES A DIR-" konhamaru shouted, finally being silenced by the womans quick lunge.

The man dropped the two boys to their feet, effectively releasing Konhamaru from the womans grasp as well, and turned to the woman he loved.

" IS THIS TRUE? YOU'VE BEEN SEEING SOMEONE ELSE?"

Naruto patted his friend on the back.

" I think you saved us. Good thinking. Let's add some fuel to the fire now." Naruto told his friend.

" Oh yeah Hiroshi. She's been seeing this old dude with red clothes and long white hair! She's just as bad as a prostitute if not worse! She exchanges sex and her affection for gifts!"

The man sucker punched the wall.

" YOU BITCH! HOW COULD YOU? I WAS GONNA ASK YOU TO MARRY ME DURRING DINNER FOR GOD SAKES!" The man shouted, thrusting a ring with a rather large diamond out of his jacket.

The woman retaliated.

" YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ME ANYMORE OR GIVE ME GIFTS! I MISSED THE LOVE THAT WE USED TO HAVE, BUT YOU WEREN'T GIVING IT TO ME. I HAD TO GO TO AN OLD MAN! AN OLD MAN TREATED ME LIKE A QUEEN!"

" YOUR NO QUEEN, YOU'RE A WHORE!"

Naruto and Konahamaru walked back into the closet and promptly closed the door. They'd just stay in here till things quieted down.

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" Naruto, Konahamaru, what the fuck were you children thinking?" Hiruzen Sarutobi asked with irritation. "You two have gone too far."

The aging hokage reached for the file on his desk and opened it.

"It says here that you ' Broke into Mrs. Shimo's apartment building making you two officially trespassers, Put dog feces in Mrs. Shimo's makeup, and somehow managed to tell her lover that she had a 'Sugar Daddy'. A sugar daddy Konahamaru? How do you know what a sugar daddy is?" the wise man asked the two boys, who were as of now sitting across from his desk in two chairs.

Konahamaru sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

"You learn things during the academy Grandpa."

…

"Naruto told you didn't he"

Konahamaru nodded his head.

Naruto placed a hand over his eyes in embarrassment. That traitor.

Hiruzen just shook his head at the two.

" Im disappointed you two. Konahamaru, you're my grandson. I expect more from you. Naruto, you're like a grandson to me and always will be, but you need to stop being a bad influence on Konahamaru. You're final exam for the academy is in less than 24 hours and you two are out doing pranks, if you could even call them that. You should be studying. Your future depends on this. If you two weren't still in the academy, you would be court-martialed for such behavior. You need to start acting more professional. Im done for today. You two are dismissed."

With a snap of a finger, an ANBU agent with a Horse mask appeared from thin air.

" Horse, please take Konahamaru and Naruto to their homes. Please explain to my daughter the trouble her son has been getting into."

Konahamaru paled while Naruto stood up and walked into the door. Family talk was his least favorite kind. It reminded him of his lack of family.

" NOOO NOT MOM. IM SORRY LORD HOKAGE. FORGIVE ME FOR MY NEGILGANCE!"

The third sighed once more. His mother was like the devil incarnated when angered, and as much as he didn't want Konahamaru to have to face such a thing, he needed some way to punish him.

" …Horse"

With a quick salute to the Hokage, the ANBU picked up the child and walked to the blonde who was waiting patiently by the door.

After everyone was gone, Sarutobi let his head slam against his desk. He really needed a drink.

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Im not going to write too much. Im just testing the waters here. Tell me if anyone's interested in seeing more. If anyone's a fan of my other work, do know that im not giving up on them, although I do have quite the mental block on Another School. Ive got about half of the next chapter for it done. Hope you enjoyed.


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